The Wonderful World of WinAce
[Visit my message board, The Divine Comedy, here.]

March 26, 2005 Update:

Hello there! You've reached the homepage of WinAce, sarcastic jackass and hardcore skeptic extraordinaire. You may, of course, already be familiar with the nick, assuming you've had your rear handed back to you on a gilded platter by one of my posts in topics relating to theism, evolution, or the paranormal. 

Since you're here, I can only assume you've followed a link shamelessly spammed all over your favorite forum by my gutsy self. Conversely, I may have invited you here, in which case you must have been in a drunken stupor to trust me. Or maybe, just maybe, like the proverbial monkeys with typewriters reproducing the works of Shakespeare, you happened to randomly type the URL into your web browser's address bar through sheer luck. Whatever the case, you're stuck here now, so you might as well make the best of it.

Behold my elite, notepad-and-FrontPage-utilizing HTML authorship skills and click on one of the following highly blasphemous links:

Real Life:

  • Photos from Allan and Jessica's First Trip to Oregon - Courtesy of the girl I love, a couple of cameras, and one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen, even when taking into account travel brochures. This vacation lasted from March 9-23, 2005, and was the most enjoyable trip I've ever embarked on. There are some wonderful pictures here--10 in all--and you can almost vomit from the cuteness!

Assorted Humor:

  • Antibiotic Effectiveness: A Critical Review - Here, I assume my secret identity (whoops...) of a mild-mannered professor under the Institute for Demonology Research and, using proven techniques borrowed from the creationist movement's attacks on radiometric dating, point out the ineffectiveness of the materialist lie known as antibiotics.
  • Are There Really Any Contradictions in Star Trek? - It has come to my attention that a group of uninformed critics have been spreading misinformation about Star Trek containing numerous "internal inconsistencies". Here, I bring the tried-and-tested apologetic methods honed and refined over thousands of years to bear on the problem. You might be surprised at the result - Star Trek contains no contradictions at all! Then again, you might not...
  • Bible Prophecies Indicating Napoleon was the Messiah - My wacky look at just how easily convincing "prophecies" of the type used to "prove" the divinity of figures such as Jesus can be created for almost any figure in history with only a little imagination, creative interpretation of ambiguous verses and ideologically motivated effort.
  • Fundies Say the Darndest Things! July/August 2004 Edition - The final edition of this popular webpage. The thought processes required to produce some of this material are possibly the best proof available that a prankster god exists. Links to all previous issues also included. Be sure to check out the Frequently Asked Questions to find answers for the common inquiries about this page, as well as submission guidelines (in case you want to add a worthy post).
  • Horrible Demon II: a Game Review - An extended review of the God-awful Gameboy® game. Contains screenshots, sarcastic comments, analysis of gameplay, bosses and other features, an extensive walkthrough; and a .GIF animation of the entire game complete with 'All Your Base'-esque dialogue.
  • "It Could Get Gory" - Parody of the Christian rock group Third Day's hit song, "Show Me Your Glory." A religious worship song turned stalker's manifesto. For best effect, be sure to listen to the original first (link to a website hosting the MP3 included). And don't ask me what I was on when I wrote this.

Ethereal News Network Press Releases: 

  • Omniscience declared unconstitutional; ZEALOT Act struck down - The heavenly Supreme Court strikes down the ancient, paranoia-inspired act that gave God omniscient powers over reality, citing legal justification such as the dangerous precedent it set and the right to privacy. Includes short interviews with many interested parties, from Justices to lawyers. 
  • Rising costs of Hell could force inmates out on the streets - As costs skyrocket and budgets are trimmed, the everlasting prison faces a disastrous closure. See what televangelists, environmental groups and Congress have to say.   
  • God faces renewed "flip-flopping" attacks - "Would you vote for someone who doesn't know whether he's coming or going, first adopting a position and then rebuking it when the political sands shift? Do you want a ruler who's on record holding two mutually exclusive positions? If you've read my opponent's, Jesus H. Christ's, campaign manifesto, you're no doubt aware of his many flip-flops. The book is full of contradictions and weaseling from the very first page! Do you still think he has the integrity or perseverance to lead us in this time of crisis? I'm Bill Z. Bub, and I approved this message."

Halfway-Serious Material: 

  • Organisms That Look Designed (v2.1) - A tongue-in-cheek spoof (and, I've been told, devastating reductio ad absurdum) of the "irreducible complexity" arguments put forth by proponents of Intelligent Design "theory." This article describes some of the most grotesque lifeforms known to man and makes a case for a sociopathic god worthy of an H.P. Lovecraft novel. "Equal Time" proponents, be careful what you wish for--or the baby-killing liberals might just have this taught in schools. Now with dozens more evolution-wrecking lifeforms, lots of colorful pictures and myriad inside jokes! Note: This article contains mature subject matter like utterly horrendous parasites and graphic illustrations of disease-ridden walking corpses; it is NOT for the squeamish.
  • Prophecy for Dummies (v1.9) - It needed to be done. A meticulous analysis of the various techniques by which convincing predictions of the future can be manufactured out of thin air. Marvel at the ease with which people can be convinced you're psychic! Get fame and fortune at the drop of a hat! Learn how to avoid the skeptics' wrath with some heavy-duty prophecy apologetics! And if you're one of those, find out how to easily debunk the claims of Prophets! Illustrations and helpful real-world examples are included. Disclaimer: I will not be personally held liable for any cults inspired by this article.
  • Refuting Unfalsifiable Claims with Superior, Incompatible Explanations - An essay that outlines a methodology by which empirically refutation-proof assertions, such as those made by various cults, can be debunked by appeal to superior alternate explanations. This has a wide variety of applications in everything from justification for strong atheism to UFO skepticism. 

Other Detritus: 

  • Image Gallery: Funny Pics for Online Use - Various Paint Shop Pro-created graphics of my own devising. These are intended to make lighthearted fun of the fundies when they post inane and mindless drivel or assorted logical fallacies. You're welcome to use these freely on a variety of message boards! Recent additions include "Rear Handed to You," "Plagiarism", "Backpedaling", "Burden of Proof," "Broken Record" and "Garbage in, Garbage out."
  • All-Time Wackiest Search Results That Found This Site - The name says it all. Click at the risk of losing some of your remaining hope for humanity. You have been warned.
  • The Divine Comedy Forum/Guestbook - Did this site make your day? Make you choke on a soda from laughing? Did it make you think? Seriously offend you? Give you homicidal thoughts towards its author? Tell it like it is! But remember, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of public opinion. 
  • Links - If the above content isn't enough to make you lose all faith in humanity, the gods and the universe, here are some more reasons.

LordCo Products of Interest:

LordCo Centre is a huge, spectacular parody website and a true comedy goldmine. Making fun of everything that's good and holy, and quite a few things that aren't, with often tasteless (but almost universally hilarious) spoof products is the order of the day. As of the time of this writing, the mall sports over 170 items in areas from TV shows to fashion accessories, complete with sacrilegiously delicious text advertisements and often over-the-top images. Those listed below (in chronological order, by date of addition to the site) are only the ones which owe their existence, partially or in total, to my sick little blasphemous mind. But don't let their crappiness discourage you from checking out the other, real winners at LC Centre, and check that site often for additional updates!

  1. Myths Cereal - "Silly Rabbi, Myths are for Kids!"
  2. The Good Word KJV Holy Word Processor - By LordCo. Don't even try to write scripture without it!
  3. Psalter's Choice Do-It-Yourself Abortion Kit - Beat the Bible-thumping anti-abortionists at their own game!
  4. Infern-a-Quench Hellfire Extinguisher - Why wait for Hell to freeze over, when you can speed things along?
  5. Dead-Raisin' Bran - The breakfast of saviors. Now with two scoops of ossuary gunk in every box!
  6. Beelzebub Banish Demon Repellent - Be prepared. Don't let an Exorcist-like scenario happen to you.
  7. Lord-o-Soft Iconshop - In this day and age, let computers do all the dirty work of designing icons for you!
  8. Eve's Secret Lingerie - For those lovely ladies whose favorite book of the Bible is Song of Solomon.
  9. She Bear in a Can - Idea/text by Novadistortion. Wanna tear up some anti-baldness twerps?
  10. Jericho - Tongue-in-cheek parody of the movie "Troy."
  11. As The World Burns - Soap opera about the exploits of faithless Christians left behind after the Rapture.
  12. Jerusalem Park - Idea by LordCo. Movie; creationists make dangerous theme park with Biblical fauna.
  13. Delugeworld - Spoof of "Waterworld"; Noah as a villainous pirate. Dedicated to a very special someone...
  14. Pro-Life Sniper Elite - In my defense, my sole contribution to this game was a tiny suggestion or two!
  15. Lord-o-Soft Internet Evangelizer - Spiritually safe web browsing. With Board Spirituality (BS) assistant!
  16. Men in Dazzling White - Two super-secret angels are on a mission to thwart Satan's vile plans.
  17. i, Rabbi - Movie spoof; medieval Rabbis create an army of intelligent Golems that quickly run amok.
  18. Last Supper Pest Baits - Don't let YHWH ruin a perfectly good picnic with his insect plagues!
  19. Authentix Certified Imitation Fossils - Hand-crafted and signed by the Prince of Darkness himself!
  20. Glory-Guards - These sunglasses will protect your corneas from the harmful rays emitted by God.


Mirrored Copies of this Site:

Disclaimer: this site is not intended to offend anyone (OK, maybe a few people) and is mostly based on humour and questioning dogmatic adherence to really strange things. If you're a closed-minded fundie whose reasons for belief are "cause the Bible says so, and I know the Bible is right cause Jesus said so in the gospels," get lost, because we both know you'd still believe even if God himself told you he didn't exist.

But if you're someone who is actually willing to question his beliefs or laugh at the rampant stupidity of some of the previously mentioned fundies, you've come to the right place.

© 2002-2005 WinAce. All rights to Jessica's love reserved. ;-)